Saturday, December 14, 2019

The Cost to Benefit Analysis of Coaching

As many of you may already know, I recently decided to step away from coaching high school basketball. This has been one of the most difficult decisions that I have had to make in a long time...I don’t think I truly recognized how much I would miss it. I decided to give it up for now for a few different reasons. First and for most I wanted to make sure that I am around as much as I can possibly be around to watch my son Ryder grow up. Coaching high school basketball occupies so much of your time and energy. During the season that can mean early mornings and late nights. During the off season you are doing as much as possible in strength and conditioning as well as skill work to prepare for the next season. Most nights I would come home just exhausted from all the demands, but the truth is that I just love it.

The basketball court has always been a place where I can go regardless of what I am feeling. Everything just starts to make sense when the ball is put into play. Struggle, perseverance, victory, defeat, controlling your emotions and putting them towards something constructive, learning from your mistakes and focusing on the next play are just a few of the many aspects of the game that I just love. I was never a stand out player on the court but I love the game so much and it has continued to teach me more and more about myself and who I am. I have always been a believer that basketball doesn't help us develop character, it simply exposes our character. We see who we really are in times of stress and difficulty. We see the kind of person that we are when we win and when we lose. Then we are able to make the choice to be better or to come up with more excuses as to why we are the way that we are. I’ve always told my athletes, you can’t always control what’s on the scoreboard but two things are always in your control. Your attitude and your effort. Nobody gets to dictate your effort and no one gets to tell you what your attitude should be. Those two things will forever be your choice.

I love investing into these young men and getting to know them. I enjoy developing our relationships and watching them push themselves to grow and succeed. Of course I wanted to win games, but that for me was never the most rewarding part of coaching. I loved watching my athletes grind it out and experience difficulties and becoming stronger because of it. As much as I love doing that, I want to be sure I can experience the same things with Ryder. He may not want to play sports or be an athlete of any kind but I want to be a part of whatever it is that he chooses to be a part of. I’m not going to lie, I hope its a sport lol but if it’s not,, then that will be perfectly fine too. I want to be present when he goes through tough times, I want to be there when he experiences hardship, I want to be the one to push him to be better and helps him up when he falls down. I want to physically and emotionally be there.

I know that as Ryder approaches turning two, he may not always remember the things I do for him but one thing is for sure. He will know that I was there. He will know that I was present. Do I think I’ll ever go back to coaching? Yes, I think so. I love coaching basketball at a high level to much to ignore it. How soon will I consider going back? I’m really not sure. All I know is that if and when I go back, it’s going to have to be a situation where I feel like I can still always put my relationship with God first as well as my family before considering getting back into the gym. I want my son to see me be passionate about what I do and I want him to see me work hard to do the things I love to do. He should see me chasing my dreams as I help him discover his own. But before any of that, I need him to recognize that the choices I make reflect my love for God first and my love for my family next. 

On a side note, if you are a coach out there reading this, I am in no way implying that if you continue to coach that you are not being a good father. That is so far from the truth! I am only sharing from my experience at this point in my life. Everyone should do what they feel is best for themselves and their family. This is just the decision I have made for now.

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Motivation vs Drive

Motivation vs Drive

A lot of people will talk about the important of motivation and how it leads to success. They will emphasize that with the right motivation, your opportunities to succeed will be endless. What exactly is motivation though? I mean most of everything we do has some form of a motive attached to it. Even mundane tasks like eating, drinking and sleeping are done with some level of motivation right? I mean we tell ourselves to try and eat better in order to have healthier lifestyle. We feel motivation to make sure we get enough sleep every night so that we can get the things done that need to get done the next day without feeling like we are dragging through the day. The problem is that just because we are motivated to do these things, doesn’t mean that these things will always get done or will always occur. So then what exactly gives us the ability to get these done. These things get done well when we choose to get them done. It comes down to the decisions that we make everyday and those decisions determine the outcomes of whether or not we get these things accomplished. 

Developing something I like to call “drive” is more important than any motivation you will experience. Motivation always comes down to a feeling that we have and drive will always come back to a decision that we make. Motivation comes and goes, sometimes we “feel” like taking care of our health, and sometimes we don’t feel or don’t possess the motivation to take care of our health.  (I use our health as an analogy but it can be applied in area of life you would like) I don’t always have the motivation to get up and go to work but I make the decision to do it because I know the result that it will hopefully bring, a paycheck so I can afford to live, eat and do the things I wish. So regardless of the feeling I have in the morning, I make the decision to get up and get ready for work.

So I would argue that developing an individual’s “Drive” vs  developing their “Motivation” is far more important and has a much better end result in the long run. If we teach people to work for a feeling, then we are leading them done a very dangerous path. Feelings come and go, sometimes we can control what feelings we may have and sometimes we can’t control them. The only thing that we as individuals have the power to control are the decisions that we make everyday. We need to make decisions every day based on what we believe is best for us. We cannot always control the consequences or results of our decision making but we always can control the decision that we make.

Why is this important? Everyday you are faced with choices. We may not always be able to control the results of our choices but we always possess the power to choose. I want my students and my athletes to understand this because when we truly embrace the fact that we have no control over results but only control of our decisions, then we can truly begin to progress as athletes and as individuals. Very few things in life are guaranteed, we aren’t even guaranteed to wake up tomorrow morning. When are faced with decisions everyday, when we are faced with important choices that we have to make, lets remember that you can only control what YOU can control. Honestly, when it comes down to it, the only thing we can control are the words that we say and the actions that we take. God gives us the ability to choose, what a blessing that is. We have the opportunity everyday so show the world how our choices reflect the love we have and the gratitude we possess for the life he has given us. So, what’s your choice?

Let that sink in. This has been an eye opener for me because I have so much in my life that I feel like I am suppose to control. I have so much that I feel like I am suppose to make happen but the ONLY thing I can control is myself.